Last night was pretty cool. I saw Aujourd’hui (Tey), a movie
that stars Saul Williams, a man I have admired for many years. His poetry and
music have been with me since I was 18 years old. He inspired me to dream big
when I lived in a small town in South Carolina and ached to get out. His conversations
with Ken Wilber and the Integral philosophy crew informed my already universalist
worldview and helped me articulate my views about life, art, love, and
everything in between when I came to a desperate crossroads where I needed to
finally state what it is that I “believe.” Maybe I’ll talk more about that
crossroads another time. I also dreamt of Saul before I ever knew who he was.
Weird, right? But true. He would appear in my dreams and I’d wonder who that
man was and why he was there. Each time he was in my dreams, I felt that I had
dreamt something profound though usually I didn’t know what it was or what it
meant.
Last night I got to see him live for the 3rd
time. And just like the other times I was deeply moved by his fierce
individuality, his badass articulation, and the way he stores his words in his
head in a seemingly effortless fashion, something that always reminds me of the
African griot. I was in rapt suspension. I dared my mind to think, but it
wouldn’t. It just spun around in a present state of energy, feeling hollow in
its usual mode of knowing.
Ok. You get it. Saul Williams has been a major guiding post
on my journey.
I remember meeting and then quickly becoming friends with a girl
who also admired Saul the year that I moved to Philadelphia. She was going
through a hard time in her life and our friendship seemed to be a form of salvation
for her. I also felt a kindred spirit in her as she also liked Saul and back
then I naively felt that anyone who liked him must also be my friend. One day
in a flash of insight I reminded her that the people we admire are admired
because we recognize something in them that is familiar to us; perhaps, what is
familiar to us is familiar because it already exists within ourselves. The admired,
then, is a pleasing reflection of you. You recognize the light because it already
shines so brightly in you.
Gosh. Writing that feels a bit narcissistic. But my friend
understood me then. I’ll say something else that may be
uncomfortable to read.
Bury your heroes.
If you have been lucky enough to find them, love them well,
and then relinquish them.
In other words, I love you, Saul (or insert any other “hero”
name you choose), but I’m over you.
I never cease to be amazed at how many talented, intelligent,
and beautiful people live in New York City. I know quite a few people who sit
on the “sidelines” in admiration of all the talent they live among, wondering
what light they themselves will offer to the world. They have long lists of
actors they admire, bands they follow, writers they read, visual artists they
dig, companies they know… Indeed, one of the great things about living in this
city is the ready access to some of the best talent in the world. But that’s
not my point. Here is my point:
RECOGNIZE THE GREATNESS IN YOU. We are the Gods and
Goddesses we have been waiting for. The time is now. Our heroes have “taken” us
far enough on the journey. We are not meant to watch their journey as we
salivate from the sidelines. Take all
that juiciness and dance your own dance, sing your own song, write your own
words, act in whatever way you must act.
The trigger is you! Qu’est ce tu vas faire? (What are you going to do?)
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