Sunday, February 17, 2013

I LOVE YOU, BUT I'M OVER YOU. Burying Your Heroes and Seeing the Light in You


Last night was pretty cool. I saw Aujourd’hui (Tey), a movie that stars Saul Williams, a man I have admired for many years. His poetry and music have been with me since I was 18 years old. He inspired me to dream big when I lived in a small town in South Carolina and ached to get out. His conversations with Ken Wilber and the Integral philosophy crew informed my already universalist worldview and helped me articulate my views about life, art, love, and everything in between when I came to a desperate crossroads where I needed to finally state what it is that I “believe.” Maybe I’ll talk more about that crossroads another time. I also dreamt of Saul before I ever knew who he was. Weird, right? But true. He would appear in my dreams and I’d wonder who that man was and why he was there. Each time he was in my dreams, I felt that I had dreamt something profound though usually I didn’t know what it was or what it meant.

Last night I got to see him live for the 3rd time. And just like the other times I was deeply moved by his fierce individuality, his badass articulation, and the way he stores his words in his head in a seemingly effortless fashion, something that always reminds me of the African griot. I was in rapt suspension. I dared my mind to think, but it wouldn’t. It just spun around in a present state of energy, feeling hollow in its usual mode of knowing.
Ok. You get it. Saul Williams has been a major guiding post on my journey.

I remember meeting and then quickly becoming friends with a girl who also admired Saul the year that I moved to Philadelphia. She was going through a hard time in her life and our friendship seemed to be a form of salvation for her. I also felt a kindred spirit in her as she also liked Saul and back then I naively felt that anyone who liked him must also be my friend. One day in a flash of insight I reminded her that the people we admire are admired because we recognize something in them that is familiar to us; perhaps, what is familiar to us is familiar because it already exists within ourselves. The admired, then, is a pleasing reflection of you. You recognize the light because it already shines so brightly in you.  

Gosh. Writing that feels a bit narcissistic. But my friend understood me then. I’ll say something else that may be uncomfortable to read.

Bury your heroes.

If you have been lucky enough to find them, love them well, and then relinquish them.

In other words, I love you, Saul (or insert any other “hero” name you choose), but I’m over you.
I never cease to be amazed at how many talented, intelligent, and beautiful people live in New York City. I know quite a few people who sit on the “sidelines” in admiration of all the talent they live among, wondering what light they themselves will offer to the world. They have long lists of actors they admire, bands they follow, writers they read, visual artists they dig, companies they know… Indeed, one of the great things about living in this city is the ready access to some of the best talent in the world. But that’s not my point. Here is my point:

RECOGNIZE THE GREATNESS IN YOU. We are the Gods and Goddesses we have been waiting for. The time is now. Our heroes have “taken” us far enough on the journey. We are not meant to watch their journey as we salivate from the sidelines. Take all that juiciness and dance your own dance, sing your own song, write your own words, act in whatever way you must act.

The trigger is you! Qu’est ce tu vas faire? (What are you going to do?)    


No comments:

Post a Comment