ATTACHMENT TO FORM

Today’s JOY IN THE CITY is coming a bit late in the day. I had gotten in the routine of writing these entries in the morning, but now it is close to 5pm and I am just beginning to write. It is fine. The view of from the window in my room shows the sky has begun to make those hazy blues and oranges signaling that the day is fading into night. Her winter day eyelids are growing heavy and twilight will be a welcome release.

My day got off to a slow start. I had planned to go to an early morning yoga class, which would have been my first all winter. I planned to ride my bike, also a first for the winter. Class was at 7am so I was up at 6 and out by 6:30. I felt resistant, but I knew how grateful by body would be for an early morning of warm yoga (yoga in a warm room).

   

Its turns out that I had overestimated the capabilities of my winter body. My muscles were screaming as I pumped up the hills of my part of Brooklyn. My heart was leaping out of my chest, and by the time I got to Eastern Parkway I needed to take a bench. I found one, sat down, and stared at the sky. I realized that I was dangerously dizzy. I felt weak and empty. I had eaten breakfast but the cold winter air on my face and in my lungs and the pain in my body was not agreeing with my idea of yoga. At that point I didn't even feel capable of standing, much less biking another 2 miles and then doing yoga. I did what I had never done before. I got back on my bike, turned around, and went home, ignoring all the voices of criticism in my head that were calling me a failure.  

I was back at my apartment by 7. I got undressed, dragged myself back to bed, and lay there hoping that I hadn't caught a cold because being sick is the last thing I need right now. The next thing I knew I was waking up again and it was 11am! I had missed my first “appointment” of the day which was at 10!! Oh no! What happened?? I didn't set an alarm because I couldn't imagine myself sleeping past 9; I didn't even know if I was going to sleep at all! Thankfully, I was able to have the meeting shortly after 11.

The rest of the day was pushed back by a few hours, but I have managed to keep my mind and spirit in a positive place and accomplish the things I set out to do today. Tonight I will “make up” for the physical exercise I missed by not going to yoga this morning and will go to my favorite dance class ever called Shake Your Soul (more on that later)!

SO what does any of this have to do with JOY IN THE CITY besides Joy, the person, getting to unload and write about her day?

Everyday is a chance to let go of our ideas about what we thought something was going to be, to relinquish our expectations, or attachment to form. Even when things don’t turn out exactly the way you thought or the way you planned, each moment is alive with a new possibility.

If you take this idea past your plans for the day, you can also apply it to the plans for your life. Maybe at this point in your life things aren't looking exactly the way you thought they would. You don’t have a certain amount of money, you haven’t found the romance of your dreams, your career isn't as far along as you hoped…and you thought you did everything right!

 Don’t waste time beating yourself up or being harsh. Stay present. What is your heart asking you to do here and now? Your life is valuable and not simply if/when it lives up to your expectations. It’s valuable because it is a gift that is only yours to use.

 My wonderful friend told me this today,

“When you are sharing whatever gifts you have to the best of your ability, that is success.”

And the great thing about now is that it always is. Here’s your chance.