Assata Shakur, The Internal Stuggle for Freedom, and Why This is Very Personal

Today I am feeling a quite visceral response to the political atmosphere of the country. Lately I have kept myself quite isolated from the political conversation. I go through phases, cautiously dealing with the internal and external, deciding what is most valuable for my growth.

With the news of Assata Shakur being placed on the FBI’s Terrorist List—the first woman, being black, nonetheless—I feel that there is an obvious correlation of my inner state and the state of the political affairs in this US.

I find it disturbing, to say the least, that a woman who was wrongfully accused of a murder that she could not have possibly committed, who has spent the past 40 odd years living in exile, is being considered as a dangerous threat to the US.

This reminds me of the fact that the feminine has time and again been considered dangerous to the powers that be—so dangerous that she must be repressed; so dangerous that her life must be squelched and put on hold so that others may feel more comfortable, more safe.

What does the fate of Assata Shakur have to do with me? I, who lives comparatively happily in a home of my choice in a crime free, diverse neighborhood in Brooklyn NY, in love with a non-American white man, performing in small plays and films, writing as my heart desires, working only enough to support my survival, and with enough freedom to have an opinion about what goes on the world?

The main problem with this new label given to Assata Shakur is that it supposedly is intended to send a message of fear to anyone seeking to live a life of revolution on American soil.

Anyone seeking to live a life of revolution? What does this mean? Anyone seeking to challenge the status quo, anyone seeking to speak out against systematic unhappiness, anyone who refuses to play small and live a life with anything less than the boldness of actual being that is the gift of existence.

In my life I have come into contact with many women who seek to live a life of freedom (freedom of expression, freedom to live a life outside of the mandate of tradition, etc…). Many of these women are my friends. I am sad to say that for them, more than any other group, this is a constant struggle.

The world for some reason always seeks to make these women fit inside some little box for which they are surely unfit. The world quite obviously fears them. Fears their ambiguity, their strength, their depth, their rich humor, and most of all perhaps, their unclassifiable beauty.

But these women continue. They continue to write plays of immeasurable eloquence that may never be produced on the scale they deserve, they continue to work in industries that will never quite accommodate them (because they know their presence in these industries is essential for others maybe?), they refuse to compromise their natural beauty, and sometimes they leave behind friends and lovers to live in “exile” and follow their bliss in radical ways.

Why are they feared? It is quite obvious: Because they are indefinable and will not accept the sundry pigeonholes that a male dominated establishment attempts to designate for them. They will not accept a narrow classification. So they are deemed dangerous.

Maybe I am not one of these bold indefinable women of which I speak. I still play small and grapple with ways in which to present my indefinable beauty to the world to make it more palatable. I still wish to be loved and seek approval. But maybe not for long.

I do not wish to live in a world where it is acceptable to fear that which is unexplainable, to imprison that which does not fit into the established mold. I do not desire to see my sisters and future daughters forever exiled to a life of constant battle for the right to exist with the freedom of being and expression that is equivalent with what it means to be alive--to breathe without explanation and to dally with the mystery that defies articulation.

I also must say that is important to watch where one places their trust. Though I had never voted before, I voted for Barrack Obama. This is the administration that labels Assata Shakur a terrorist and also the administration that supports the use of drones. I know he has made strides for much positive change under the most intense congressional opposition that any administration has faced.

But I am learning that some games are not in place for the highest good to succeed. No matter his wishes, it seems that the institution of the American government is only in place for the economic gain of this nation, the maintenance of a standard of comfort and luxury, and not for the overall wellbeing (internal and external) of its citizens.

We each must be more diligent in maintaining our own happiness, our own freedom of being and internal welfare. It may come at a high price, but it is the only thing worth existing for.

Find out what works for you. What is it that makes you blossom and carry out your fullest potential? Follow your bliss. No matter what don’t compromise.  Your joy (and freedom) await you.

I Like The Way You Work It: Your Style of Getting Things Done and The Ever Elusive Motivation

I am reading a book right now about the various ways that people find motivation. It answers the question of how people focus and what ultimately gets people going. I am finding it helpful in identifying my style of “getting things done.” This is what the book is about on the surface, but a bit more subtly, it also is “re-defining” happiness.

This is a big one for me. You know, my name is Joy. The whole happiness thing/ defining the elusive joy is definitely an essential part of my journey. I think it must be an essential part of everyone’s journey in their own unique way, but for me, it seems particularly entwined with what I’m supposed to do with my time here.

I mean, my name is Joy and for a great deal of my life I was quite joy-less. The metaphors don’t scream much louder than that.  

Back to the book. Did you know that optimism and positive thinking does not work for everyone? Maybe you are one the people that has been cajoled your whole life with comments like “Everything will be fine” or “Be positive.”

Well it just so happens that this kind of sunny outlook actually “doesn’t work” for everyone. As a matter of fact, for some people thinking positively is exactly the opposite of how they get things done. For these people, positive thinking actually dampens their diligence and imagining the worst is what motivates them to do their best.

In other words, for some people, Happiness has nothing to do with positive thinking. So all the optimists can just stop shoving the glass half full thing down people’s throats because it’s not all about that.

Another thing. Have you ever wondered why everything can be going well on the inside (how you feel) even when the world is falling apart around you? Or why you can feel awful inside even when everything around you is happening exactly as you hoped? Why don’t these inner and outer satisfactions line up more often?

An aspect of happiness that is often overlooked is the effectiveness factor. Happiness is largely about how effective you are in the world. If you feel that you are successfully effecting your heart’s desires, you will most likely feel happy. So it’s not whether you are getting what you want, which is awesome, but it’s also about whether you feel that you are a part of your success. You are a major part of this equation, not just what is happening to you.

When you work hard and you see the payoff, that amazing feeling is a part of your happiness. When things aren’t going well but you know that you are being your best self and doing everything in your power to change things, that is a part of your happiness too.

Happiness is largely about feeling effective. So grab your power and work it!

I am happily learning that while I may seem to be a promotion focused person (driven by rewards, a creative thinker, big risk taker, largely disorganized) on the surface, as a I take a closer look, it is also true that I am quite prevention focused (concerned with maintaining what is, not a risk taker, meticulous, organized) as well. Which may be a key to unlocking exactly how I work.

I am also a touch pessimistic when it comes to my work. Why? Because my pessimism motivates me. I am more diligent when I think to myself  “this just may not work out.” Then I usually smile and say to myself, “Then I may as well have a hell of a good time trying.”

The truth is that the inner and outer line up in you. You are the common denominator of all dichotomies. It’s up to you to figure how it all works together so that you can light up the world as the fire that you are.     

 P.S. This book is called Focus: Use Different Ways of Seeing The World for Success and Influence by Heidi Grant Halvorson. It’s Number 7 on the book list I posted a few weeks ago if you’ve been following.