Get Some Headspace- Finding Simplicity Through The Clutter

I recently discovered a website that I already find invaluable to my growth called www.getsomeheadspace.com. The slogan is, "The world's first gym membership for the mind."  

The site features courses in guided meditation that are set up as things like “10 minutes a day for 10 days” or “15 minutes a day for 15 days” (courses called Take 10 and Take 15), etc…

I am 3 days into Take 10, and I am already blown away by its effectiveness.

I have been meditating on and off, in some form or another, since 2003. Ever since I discovered meditation as a way to clear the mind, I have seen it as necessary for my life. I have gone through various struggles keeping meditation in place, as far as maintaining the necessary discipline, keeping the right mind set, and also experimenting with different forms.

When a person has a long relationship with a practice, things can become a bit muddled over time. You can lose the core of why you started doing it in the first place and it can easily become just another thing on the to-do the list. In a desire to finally “get it right,” you can become rigid and stiff, get lost in your ritual, and completely lose sight of the state of present peace of mind that is the gem of any practice.

What I love about this sight is that it is helping me return to simplicity and ease, not just in meditation, but in life. I feel my mind being cleared of all the weeks and months and years of struggle and saying, “Just be here.”

Space. Lots of space is being created.

Have you ever gotten lost in the thick of a practice, a project, or a new skill you are trying to learn? Have you tried lots of different techniques, but nothing really seems to stick? Have you prayed about it and talked about it, only to have it come kick you in the gut when you’re down for some other reason?

Maybe the “it” for you is your inner critic; maybe it’s your meditation practice; maybe it’s finding the right romantic partner; or making peace with a family member; or forgiving an ex. I’m sure you have dealt with the proverbial “thorn in your side” at least once in your life by now.   

I have always thought of simplicity in terms of material possessions. Every time I hear of the notion of simplifying I immediately think I’m being told to give up some clothes or to organize my papers. I often forget that simplicity is, more than anything, a state of mind.

So if you have a long struggle with something, think in terms of going back to the root of why you wanted this particular something in the first place. Clear away some of the clutter that may have built up around that initial, pure, simple wish. If the residue of failures and setbacks has settled heavily upon you, do what you can to wash it away. Find a sense of gratefulness for the setbacks, knowing that they have served to bring you to where you are right now—alive and still trying.

If you have been searching and searching for solutions, throw away the voices of advice that don’t work for you. Too many voices complicate things. Try to distill everything you have learned into one clear, simple voice—a voice of compassion, that moves you both to action and to stillness.   

Find your own simplicity. Clear away the clutter. I promise you’ll find a clear space waiting for you, and you’ll feel much better.

If you're reading this blog, please take a moment to leave a COMMENT on some ways you've found simplicity and gotten some headspace in your life. 

Engagement: The Action That Sustains Your Passion- On Love, Lust, and Sustainability

A few weeks ago my boyfriend of almost 2 years, asked me to be his wife. It was late at night. He had just flown in from France. As he came through the door of our apartment he began to speak about what an adventure it has been since we’ve known each other and how he’d like to keep having wonderful adventures together for the rest of our lives. Then he got down on one knee and pulled out a simple, custom made, non-traditional ring, made of 2 concentric circles. Perfect. I said yes! I am overjoyed.

Despite all the excitement and romance of this new phase of our relationship, I am also processing the prospect of a lifetime of loving someone. This is really happening. Am I up to the task of being a lover and life partner who brings joy, humor, and unconditional love, who consistently challenges him to be a better man, for the rest of my life? What will it be like when we are old? What about when the fire isn’t as strong? Will there be days when we are sick of the sight of each other?     

Considering the fact that I’ve been mad about this man ever since the moment I saw him (seriously. not just saying that.) and that our entire story has been a rush of fury and passion that happened in the blink of an eye  (seriously. also not just saying that. The story of how we met is for another day, though.), it is hard to imagine a day that I’m not completely gaga over him.

But that is neither here nor there. A few days before the proposal, a very good friend of mine sent me an excerpt from a writing from Buddhist philosopher and monk, Thich Nhat Hahn. In the piece Hahn introduces 2 Vietnamese words:

There are two Vietnamese words, tinh and nghia, that are difficult to translate into English. They both mean something like love. In tinh, you find elements of passion. It can be very deep, absorbing the whole of your being. Nghia is a kind of continuation of tinh. With Nghia you feel much calmer, more understanding, more willing to sacrifice to make the other person happy, and more faithful. You are not as passionate as in tinh, but your love is deeper and more solid. Nghia will keep you and the other person together for a long time. It is the result of living together and sharing difficulties and joy over time.  

This is some sort of variation of what we usually call “love” and “passion.” We all know the difference between those things, and have probably had countless conversations about the distinction. Now that I am at the helm of legitimately spending the rest of my life with someone, this idea has become all the more nuanced for me.

I began to realize that this is a principle that essentially runs through everything. Have you ever heard that expression? “Life is 99% perspiration and 1%inspiration.” That’s what this about!

If you think of your work or anything (or anyone) that you love passionately, can you clearly map out a plan for sustainable action? That is, action that can be sustained even when the initial fire may not be as strong. The grit of the everyday, that must continue necessarily, even when “the going gets rough.” And mind you, this is not only when the going gets rough because people generally are able to kick into high gear when a challenge is present. This is also through the humdrum.

What I love most about the nuance of these 2 Vietnamese words is this:

“With Nghia you feel much calmer, more understanding, more willing to sacrifice to make the other person happy, and more faithful.”

That element of peace, of surrender that is present with sustained love. If you are an artist and you read this blog, you probably already have an inkling of how important this sense of peace is throughout your journey. This is a part of owning your flow. If you own your flow, this peace will remain even through the hardest of times. Even through countless rejections and personal failures. Yes, through sickness and health.

I believe that if we can balance our burning passion and fire (for someone or something) with sustained action and surrender, a clearing will take place. Take a moment to identify the aspects of your life that are filled with one or the other (action and passion), and see if there is room for a balancing act. Isn’t it wonderful that we have the capacity for both?

Even if you’re like me and are only at the point of acknowledging it, this is a miraculous place to start.  

Seeing the Forrest For The Trees: How To Work Even When It’s Hard and Master The Joy of What You Do

At long last, my friends, I do believe it is here: The official start of a long stay of warm weather. Is your body and mind opening up to this warmth? Are  you embracing the good vibes rippling through the streets as people seem to be in a better mood? Are you keeping light on your toes even as the heat pulls your body down and slowly zaps your energy seducing you into lazy afternoons?

I have been busy with a capital B for the past few weeks. Getting into the thick of rehearsals for a show that opens tonight, 5 long days of shooting a short film, beginning rehearsal for the next play I will be in, and working both of my survival jobs has kept me away from writing you, dear Joy In The City Readers. 

Tonight, the first of the 2 plays I’m doing this summer opens. As the afternoon moves on, my spirit is feeling lighter than it has for the entire month of May. This is the first afternoon I’ve had to myself in weeks. It is giving me a chance to reflect and hopefully I can articulate what I am seeing.

The process for this play has been hard. We were beset with a whole compilation of difficulties early on. I play the lead role and carry the bulk of the show. For the first time, I am realizing that performing in front of an audience is also a part of the process. I will meet her (my character) again tonight as if for the first time. She is not complete, and I cannot imagine that she will be by the time the play closes.

This scares me. You (hypothetical you, that is. God? Spirit? Universe? Whoever…) mean I will be working even as I perform? Well, yes and no. I won’t be working as if I am in rehearsal. That work is mostly over. But I will be learning. There is so much about this woman that will be found each time I speak the words she was written to speak. She is alive each time we gather to witness her. So she will be growing as I grow to merge with her.  Yes, I’ve known this for a long time as I’ve heard fellow actors, “masters,” and teachers speak about process. But right now, this idea is real to me in a new way.

Gosh that sounds all metaphysical and spiritual and mushy. You can’t be serious. But it is what is.    

So what does this all have to do with you, dear readers?

Well because things surrounding the play have been so externally difficult, I was hit with a hard truth this morning: I have not found my joy in the process.

 Don’t I act because I love it? How could I not be immersed in utter joy with just the opportunity to share my art with others?  Isn’t that a given? Well, not always.

Sometimes we become so tied up in the “getting it right” or, what I will call, the “pain” of the process that we forget about its intrinsic joy. Has this ever happened to you?

Have you ever caught yourself scrunched up over something you love because it is giving you a challenge, and realize that you’ve forgotten to breathe or laugh, and that your body is tied up in knots because you’ve failed to remember the flow and fun of the task?   

Don’t get me wrong. Human beings need challenge to feel fulfilled. Recent studies show that we actually do experience more happiness in process than we do in reward, something we’ve said forever but just didn’t have the actual science to back up.

We need the struggle.

But we must not ever forget the joy.  

Thankfully, I have had the company of my dear friend, Nicole Beharie, for the past week or so. In our conversations, she has given me much wisdom about remembering that for which you were called.

You were not called to just be “so and so” or to do “this or that”. It is your task to, not only master the craft of your work, but to also master how to do it with the right amount of flow and joy.  Indeed, this is a part of the mastery. You were called to your life’s work to do it joyfully.

This is not always easy. This is especially true for artists, who work in a variety of mostly unpredictable circumstances, and who must, necessarily, work with a level of vulnerability.

I am learning. Perhaps we can learn together? If you are reading this, please leave your comments on what you to do to maintain your joy in the midst of challenges in your work.

For now, I propose this: Find something to laugh about. Enlist the help of your friends to remind you to see the forest for the trees. And, for the love of God, do enjoy this sunshine. It is waiting for us.