Everyday Forgiveness (Of You). On Easter Sunday.

It has been a few weeks since I wrote a Joy in The City. Not unusual in the blogging world, but still…I like to keep the ball rolling around here.

Last week, I visited my parents in South Carolina where I grew up. I was with my boyfriend. It was their first time meeting.

Scary.

My parents and I have had some ups and downs. We haven’t always seen eye to eye on the choices I have made for my life. My boyfriend and I come from completely different worlds. I had no idea what to expect.

Guess what.

It was wonderful. I saw my parents as I had never seen them before. They seemed like many other couples in their age range that I have spent time with. They were sweet, devoted to each other and to life, and did not seem judgmental of me. It was as if they had decided to let something go.

Or had I decided to let something go?

Had they changed or had I changed?

Sometimes we have expectations of people and our relationships based on the past that can obscure our view of what is happening in the present. So I guess I’m going to talk about the second question.

Have you ever had a disagreement with someone that, even after it has been resolved, colors every interaction you have with that person thereafter? Have you ever thought that you “let it go” only to realize when you see that person again that you haven’t actually let it go at all? The relationship has something of an expectation of failure about it.

I admit it. I did have an expectation of this visit with my parents. It was an expectation that I would be left with a feeling that I had experienced in the past. On some level, I expected pain and disappointment.  Thankfully, I told myself to relax.

Instead of viewing the relationship as a figment of the past, I allowed myself to take a leap and see the relationship as a chance to be in the present.

My parents are amazing.  Had I been content to take our relationship as only an accumulation of past events, then I would have missed out on the chance to know them now.

So what does this have to do with you? 

Have you ever thought that you ruined a relationship? Or maybe you actually did ruin a relationship. People don’t want to talk to you or see you…the whole bit. This is obviously a devastating state of affairs. But it’s real. It happens.

Often, the hardest part of dealing when a relationship has been ruined is forgiving yourself.

As far as the ruined relationship is concerned, the good news is that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself anyway. 

Forgive yourself for your trespasses. You have that power. It is godly.

Allow yourself to see yourself anew. If relationships with others can be changed by changing ourselves, then so can our relationship with ourselves. How do you see yourself? Are you worthy of forgiveness? Do you deserve a second chance?

I think you are worthy of every chance. Take it. You are, after all, the reason.