There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the ground. *
So what is it? Why aren’t you doing what you love?
I have some loved ones with whom I have relationships that
consist of listening to them speak regretfully of their lives as if life is
some past occurrence that took place without them.
For many years, this made me sad beyond belief. I think my
sadness was combined with the fear of the possibility that my life too could
end up as one big insurmountable ball of regret. That I too would be recalling
some event that happened 20 years ago and well up in tears mid conversation.
Obviously, this is not the life I foresaw for myself so
whenever I had conversations with these people, I ended up with a feeling akin
to devastation- a sour mix of pain over their unlived lives and anger that they
had “given up” tinged with a fear of the possibility of their current state
being my eventuality.
What always hurt me so much about spending time with these
particular loved ones was that they were
(and still are) people so ready for joy. They see beauty, they love the simple
moments of life, they are always ready for laughter, and they try to do right
by others. Sounds like a recipe for a great life, right? So what is it?
For some reason they feel as if somewhere along the way they
either: a) made an unforgiveable mistake; b) didn’t gave the courage to take a
risk that they should have; or c) don’t have the strength anymore to work
toward the life they want. They are
quite expert at accumulating regret. They are regret hoarders. They refuse to
let the regret go.
I talk to them lovingly and listen as they pile on the
stories of their “never should have beens” and “if onlys”. I love them, but I
have come to understand that the kind of help they need to make change in their
lives cannot only come from the conversations that they have with me.
Notwithstanding, I tell you about my regretful bunch of
loved ones to say that the life you create is directly built upon what you do.
Not what you think about, not what you complain about, not what you have earth
moving conversations about, but about what you DO.
This has been a repeated message throughout my life. The
Greek word from which our word for ‘act’ is derived is “to do.” My first acting
teacher always reminded me of that. It is not just about the homework, you have
to actually do it.
So why don’t we just do it more often? One reason is because we fear the unknown. It is embedded in us.
It is not that doing what you love is hard. As a matter of fact the hours you
spend in your day doing what sets your soul free are some of the most carefree
and fulfilling hours of your day. It is not that going to yoga is hard, or
rehearsing thoroughly for your audition is hard, or writing, painting, or
volunteering your time are hard things to do in and of themselves.
If these are things that bring joy to your heart, why are
they being treated like they are the same as going to the dentist?
It is because when we do these things (if they are not
already regular parts of your life) we are making a change: we are changing our
routine, we are taking a risk, pushing ourselves into unknown territory…especially
if most of what you usually do is go through the motions of life on autopilot,
this can be quite scary.
But creating a life you want doesn’t happen on autopilot. It
takes conscious effort.
Start by letting the beauty you love be what you do. There
really are a thousand ways….
*A line from one of my favorite Rumi poems
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