Today I am feeling a quite visceral response to the
political atmosphere of the country. Lately I have kept myself quite isolated
from the political conversation. I go through phases, cautiously dealing with
the internal and external, deciding what is most valuable for my growth.
With the news of Assata Shakur being placed on the FBI’s
Terrorist List—the first woman, being black, nonetheless—I feel that there is
an obvious correlation of my inner state and the state of the political affairs
in this US.
I find it disturbing, to say the least, that a woman who was
wrongfully accused of a murder that she could not have possibly committed, who
has spent the past 40 odd years living in exile, is being considered as a
dangerous threat to the US.
This reminds me of the fact that the feminine has time and
again been considered dangerous to the powers that be—so dangerous that she
must be repressed; so dangerous that her life must be squelched and put on hold
so that others may feel more comfortable, more safe.
What does the fate of Assata Shakur have to do with me? I,
who lives comparatively happily in a home of my choice in a crime free, diverse
neighborhood in Brooklyn NY, in love with a non-American white man, performing
in small plays and films, writing as my heart desires, working only enough to
support my survival, and with enough freedom to have an opinion about what goes
on the world?
The main problem with this new label given to Assata Shakur
is that it supposedly is intended to send a message of fear to anyone seeking
to live a life of revolution on American soil.
Anyone seeking to live a life of revolution? What does this
mean? Anyone seeking to challenge the status quo, anyone seeking to speak out
against systematic unhappiness, anyone who refuses to play small and live a
life with anything less than the boldness of actual being that is the gift of
existence.
In my life I have come into contact with many women who seek
to live a life of freedom (freedom of expression, freedom to live a life outside
of the mandate of tradition, etc…). Many of these women are my friends. I am
sad to say that for them, more than any other group, this is a constant
struggle.
The world for some reason always seeks to make these women
fit inside some little box for which they are surely unfit. The world quite
obviously fears them. Fears their ambiguity, their strength, their depth, their
rich humor, and most of all perhaps, their unclassifiable beauty.
But these women continue. They continue to write plays of immeasurable
eloquence that may never be produced on the scale they deserve, they continue
to work in industries that will never quite accommodate them (because they know
their presence in these industries is essential for others maybe?), they refuse
to compromise their natural beauty, and sometimes they leave behind friends and
lovers to live in “exile” and follow their bliss in radical ways.
Why are they feared? It is quite obvious: Because they are
indefinable and will not accept the sundry pigeonholes that a male dominated
establishment attempts to designate for them. They will not accept a narrow
classification. So they are deemed dangerous.
Maybe I am not one of these bold indefinable women of which
I speak. I still play small and grapple with ways in which to present my
indefinable beauty to the world to make it more palatable. I still wish to be
loved and seek approval. But maybe not for long.
I do not wish to live in a world where it is acceptable to
fear that which is unexplainable, to imprison that which does not fit into the
established mold. I do not desire to see my sisters and future daughters forever
exiled to a life of constant battle for the right to exist with the freedom of
being and expression that is equivalent with what it means to be alive--to
breathe without explanation and to dally with the mystery that defies
articulation.
I also must say that is important to watch where one places
their trust. Though I had never voted before, I voted for Barrack Obama. This
is the administration that labels Assata Shakur a terrorist and also the administration
that supports the use of drones. I know he has made strides for much positive
change under the most intense congressional opposition that any administration
has faced.
But I am learning that some games are not in place for the
highest good to succeed. No matter his wishes, it seems that the institution of
the American government is only in place for the economic gain of this nation,
the maintenance of a standard of comfort and luxury, and not for the overall
wellbeing (internal and external) of its citizens.
We each must be more diligent in maintaining our own
happiness, our own freedom of being and internal welfare. It may come at a high
price, but it is the only thing worth existing for.
Find out what works for you. What is it that makes you
blossom and carry out your fullest potential? Follow your bliss. No matter what
don’t compromise. Your joy (and freedom) await you.
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