I am reading a book right now about the various ways that
people find motivation. It answers the question of how people focus and what
ultimately gets people going. I am finding it helpful in identifying my style
of “getting things done.” This is what the book is about on the surface, but a
bit more subtly, it also is “re-defining” happiness.
This is a big one for me. You know, my name is Joy. The
whole happiness thing/ defining the elusive joy is definitely an essential part
of my journey. I think it must be an essential part of everyone’s journey in
their own unique way, but for me, it seems particularly entwined with what I’m
supposed to do with my time here.
I mean, my name is Joy and for a great deal of my life I was
quite joy-less. The metaphors don’t scream much louder than that.
Back to the book. Did you know that optimism and positive
thinking does not work for everyone? Maybe you are one the people that has been
cajoled your whole life with comments like “Everything will be fine” or “Be
positive.”
Well it just so happens that this kind of sunny outlook
actually “doesn’t work” for everyone. As a matter of fact, for some people
thinking positively is exactly the opposite of how they get things done. For
these people, positive thinking actually dampens their diligence and imagining
the worst is what motivates them to do their best.
In other words, for some people, Happiness has nothing to do
with positive thinking. So all the optimists can just stop shoving the glass
half full thing down people’s throats because it’s not all about that.
Another thing. Have you ever wondered why everything can be
going well on the inside (how you feel) even when the world is falling apart
around you? Or why you can feel awful inside even when everything around you is
happening exactly as you hoped? Why don’t these inner and outer satisfactions
line up more often?
An aspect of happiness that is often overlooked is the
effectiveness factor. Happiness is largely about how effective you are in the
world. If you feel that you are successfully effecting your heart’s desires,
you will most likely feel happy. So it’s not whether you are getting what you
want, which is awesome, but it’s also about whether you feel that you are a part of your success. You are a major
part of this equation, not just what is happening to you.
When you work hard and you see the payoff, that amazing
feeling is a part of your happiness. When things aren’t going well but you know
that you are being your best self and doing everything in your power to change
things, that is a part of your happiness too.
Happiness is largely about feeling effective. So grab your
power and work it!
I am happily learning that while I may seem to be a
promotion focused person (driven by rewards, a creative thinker, big risk
taker, largely disorganized) on the surface, as a I take a closer look, it is
also true that I am quite prevention focused (concerned with maintaining what
is, not a risk taker, meticulous, organized) as well. Which may be a key to
unlocking exactly how I work.
I am also a touch pessimistic when it comes to my work. Why?
Because my pessimism motivates me. I am more diligent when I think to
myself “this just may not work
out.” Then I usually smile and say to myself, “Then I may as well have a hell
of a good time trying.”
The truth is that the inner and outer line up in you. You
are the common denominator of all dichotomies. It’s up to you to figure how it
all works together so that you can light up the world as the fire that you are.
P.S. This book
is called Focus: Use Different Ways of Seeing The World for Success and
Influence by Heidi Grant Halvorson. It’s Number 7 on the book list I posted
a few weeks ago if you’ve been following.
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